UGH..................

UGH, that's about how I feel right at this moment!!!! Just warning you, this post will be ALL OVER THE PLACE because that's where my mind is right now! I've been having a ruff couple months just dealing with everyday stress! The one thing that keeps me straight is of course my kids. I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I need to make some changes.

One change is my career. I'm currently a Program Analyst with the Federal Government. I'm working with the Military Working Dog K9 Handlers and it's SO MUCH FUN!!!!! Growing up I wanted to be a K9 cop! I even talked with Charles County K9 cops about becoming one but my daddy said he didn't want his daughter to become one so I didn't follow that dream. I guess being over here working with these guys, has opened up the want/desire I had so many years ago to become one. Now, I'm 28 years old with 3 kids. I really can't see myself doing any type of shift work but God knows, I would at the drop of a dime (if the opportunity presented itself), enroll in the academy and pursue my dream.

As I just said, I'm 28 years old. Two years until I'm 30! I can tell you one thing, I thought my life would be different then the one I have now. Please don't take anything that I'm saying as I hate my life. I absolutely do not! I guess I'm just having a pitty party so I'm sorry for making you all read through this. I thought I would be married, own my home and be really finacially stable! Well I have the finiacial party down, but unfortunately I don't own my own home and I'm not married. I also only thought I would only have two kids, a boy and a girl! LOL, I guess God saw differently!!!!

I know I'm extremely blessed to be the mother to three beautiful blonde haired, blue eye'd kids. I couldn't imagine my life without them. I absolutely LOVE BEING A MOMMY!!! I love being told that I'm the GREATEST MOM!!!! I love kissing all my kids boo boos, I love wiping away their tears, I love tucking them in at night, I love waking up to morning breath kisses (hehe)! I LOVE them so much with all my heart!!!! When I had Melissa, I had the doctor tie my tubes. I knew/know in my heart that my poor body just can't afford to carry another baby!!! But I also knew that I could if I really wanted too. Well over the summer I had a procedure, called NovaSure done. After I had Melissa, my womanly cycle was running HAVOC on me! Birth Control was tried to regulate it but nothing worked. For those who aren't sure what NovaSure is, it's a simple procedure where then burn the inside of your uterus. So I really CAN'T have anymore babies! I am really ok with this outcome but lately I've had the "I want a baby" feeling. It's been TERRIBLE!!! My baby will be 2 next month!!! My kids have grown so fast!!! I'm glad I had all my kids young but I also really enjoyed having a little baby in my house too. The feedings throughout the night, the lack of sleep, never bothered me! UGH, it's just a ruff feeling!! I know I'll get over it, but still, it sucks to feel this way!

Anyway, enough of the BLAH talk, we have my Mom's 50th Birthday dinner this Sunday. She wants Ledo's!!! So that's where we will be!!! Looking forward to that! I hope everyone has a GREAT WEEKEND!!!!!